last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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