I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wear drunk well.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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