but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
