found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
