Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
