i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize