Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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