forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
