David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
