Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
