Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize