they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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