goodnight i made you a song goodbye
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
