I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
