so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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