Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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