The maid of honor just puked.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
