I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize