I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
