I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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