dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
