Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
