just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
