yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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