You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
