grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
