I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
