"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
