i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize