just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
