Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
