if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize