I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
