we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Is it because I queefed?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
