I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
