His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
