physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
operation have a gay friend backfired
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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