Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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