I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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