It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize