Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
