At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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