I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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