I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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