just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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