the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
