oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
