She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
did i walk over a car last night?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize