my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
