I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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