Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
