garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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