I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
