It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
