is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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