Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
