who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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