there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
