Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
