I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
