So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
