I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
