she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
