i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
