I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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