My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's official drugs can't kill me
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
