Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
