U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
