Don't you send me to vm
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
