i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
