hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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