Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
