What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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