Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
