toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
