That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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