He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
