capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
