Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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