I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
