he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
