Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
