im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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